Letter to a Stranger

Dear dude in the steakhouse this evening,

You stunk! Please understand that covering yourself in your cheap cologne is no substitute for bathing. I wanted to enjoy my delicious steak and buttery baked potato, but I couldn't get the taste of your overwhelming stench out of my mouth. Try the scent of body wash like Irish Spring. Now THAT smells good. And doesn't waft over the booth divider.

Also, please shave your scraggly face and wear some shirts that are not a girly shade. Or how about a nice suit and fedora? I can imagine the grimace on your face right now, but give it a try. Your girlfriend would find it attractive. Or did you scare her away with your awful cologne?

A note about the next time I sit in the booth adjacent to yours: If you ruin my steak and tato again, I will have the waitress take the bill to your table.

Thanks!

Mandy, Sam and Grace

My Dear Mountain Dew

My Dear Mountain Dew,

Back in 2009, we had the closest of friendships. You were my constant companion during both the challenges of late night school assignments and the relaxation of my favorite television shows. Your energy revitalized me and your sweetness sustained me. Just my longing thoughts of you helped me make it through the day.

But what began as a loving friendship eventually transformed into my enslavement. The headaches that occurred when I was without you made you controlling and abusive. You managed to leech every spare dime from my white-knuckled grasp. My addiction to you was dangerous. I couldn't take it anymore.

So we broke up on New Years day of 2010 and never so much as spoke to each other for an entire year. At first your gaze was difficult to ignore as I passed you in the school hallways and the grocery store. You taunted me even more as I saw my friends enjoying your company. But I soon realized that I didn't need you and I had a great life in your absence. I forged strong friendships with Water and Sweet Tea and we got along well with no ill effects. While I would sometimes have nightmarish dreams about you, I was happy to be spending time with those who highly valued my health and well being.

After a year-long separation, you and I reunited on New Years day of 2011. No matter your previous treatment of me, I had forgiven and missed you and it was refreshing to become reacquainted. While I don't think we could have as close a relationship as before, I would still like to say that you're my friend. Maybe we could hang out some on the weekends like we did in the good old days. I'll be awaiting your reply.

Love,
Mandy

Happy Birthday To Me

Today is my birthday!!! I have turned 22 years old, and I'm expecting gray hairs and wrinkles to show up any minute now. As soon as I'm done typing this post, I'm going to do some online research for good canes. Preferably pink sparkly ones.

I've never been a fan of huge birthday parties, and nowadays I'm a little suspicious that big parties are nothing more than a scam to get as much stuff as possible from people you may or may not really care about. When I worked at a local ice cream shop, I would help with birthday parties where the honored kid would invite everyone they know and end up with a mountain of presents they couldn't even fit into the car. And many of these weren't cheap! Instead, I prefer to have my birthday with just my family.

Since I like small simple outings with my family, we went to Texas Steakhouse and had a delicious lunch. When I was stuffed full of chicken, potato, rolls, and salad, I went to work as normal but had to battle against my body's desire for hibernation. Although the fight wasn't as difficult as it would have been because my family gave me a bag of chocolate. I love my family.

Since I did some redecorating in my room, I got an early birthday present of a pretty shelf and gorgeous candle holder. It's so pretty and goes well with the Charleston pictures I have on display on the adjacent wall. Lookit!

I have never understood the tradition of cake for a birthday. In fact, I've never really understood cake to begin with. It looks super cute if done right, but it's somewhat of a disappointment to me. Sure, it looks like you're getting a huge slice of cake, but the dessert is so full of air! As soon as you get it in your mouth, it deflates as it hits saliva and gets pressured by your jaw. It promises to happify you but then disappears once it's out of your sight! Cake is nothing but lies!

But really, why have cake, when you can have brownies like I did tonight! Brownies that have just been pulled from the oven and are still hot to the touch. Brownies that are crowned by a bar of Hershey's chocolate that soon melts down the sides like wax on a candle. Brownies surrounded by freezing vanilla ice cream that creates a delicious moat around the chocolate castle. When the warm brownie, melted chocolate, and cold ice cream are on your tongue together, it's like a moment of heaven on earth. God bless my sweet mommy for making this for my birthday dessert. I did already say that I love my family, right?

So yeah, I like birthdays. I should have these more often.

My Worst Nightmare

After the epic night-long battle that tested my army's skill more than any prior fight, I ascended to the top of the mountain in exhausted triumph. The bright sunrise we feared we would not live to see glistened on my sweaty skin and blood-stained armor as I raised the royal sword above my head. With my long hair and cape flowing behind me in the wind, I screamed a cry of victory that echoed through the valley. I smiled faintly as it was answered by the cheers of the many brave and faithful men who fought the difficult battle by my side. We stared evil and death in the face, and we had won. With our last few ounces of strength before sleep claimed our war-torn bodies, we raised our cans of Mountain Dew to the sky and drank deeply in celebration. But then I remembered...

"NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

And then I woke up.

Three times that I have remembered in the last few months, my awesome dreams have ended in me having soda, the very drink I vowed to quit for an entire year. The stories orchestrated by my strange subconscious, that I sadly now cannot recall, came to a surprising and sudden end as my real emotions took control and I thought I had partaken of my favorite carbonated beverage before the proper time. While still asleep, I would become so upset I didn't make it to my New Year's Even goal that it would force me to wake up.To date, I have gone eleven months without a single sip of soda. I have soundly defeated the physical and mental need for soda, but it continues to haunt my dreams. It's just not fair, I tell you. I do not understand it!

Honestly, I never thought I'd make it this far. As with any other silly New Year's resolution, I thought I would have broken it by February. But surprisingly, it was my addiction to caffeine that was broken instead of the resolution and I've been going strong for almost the entire year. Right now, I am 30 days away from having a Mountain Dew and I'm more excited about completing a New Year's resolution than actually having the soda. I've got a case of Mountain Dew Throwback chillin' in the fridge in the garage, and it's not calling my name like I expected it to. Although to be completely truthful, it's been sitting out there since July and I often forget about it, haha!

I've been thoroughly warned that when I finally have soda again, my stomach probably won't like it, especially if I try to down multiple cans. They are more than likely correct, so I'll have a bottle of fruity Tums on hand just in case. I'm really wanting the end of December to get here soon, but not so that I can enjoy the deliciousness of soda again. I just don't want to have to deal with those nightmare-ish dream killers anymore. Who knows how many medieval princes, Mr. Darcy's, or Zachary Levi's I could have kissed had I not been so rudely interrupted?! Dang soda.

Thanksgiving!

It's almost THANKSGIVING!!! I cannot tell you how much I am looking forward to the days off work and the great feast of which I will soon partake. Oh, the turkey, stuffing, and freshly mashed potatoes covered in lakes of gravy! And the nap that follows such a feast will be heavenly. I'm giddy just thinking about it.

Often amidst the gigantic meal of pure deliciousness, I fear that the purpose of Thanksgiving is forgotten. It's supposed to be a time of thanks to God for all of His blessings. But this nearly nonexistent time of thanks shouldn't be on just one day a year, it should be a constant attitude for those who love Him. First Thessalonians's 5:18 says " Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." This isn't just a suggestion, it's His will for us! This is an attitude that His people need to be portraying always.

I like how that verse says "in all circumstances." We've all gone through times where thanking God is the very last thing on our minds. But I think it's in these moments where thanking God has the most power. Back in May of 2009, I was going through a time where nothing was going as I wished and I often complained to God about it in my journal. After our Sunday School lesson on thankfulness, I decided to make a list of things I was thankful for. This small list turned into multiple pages of things I was glad to have, ranging from serious to frivolous. But by the end of that list, God had pointed out countless things that I often take for granted. It totally changed my perspective from a whiny girl unhappy with her circumstances to a very thankful girl in awe of how Father in Heaven had so sweetly blessed her.

Just for fun, here's part of that list:

- My awesome cell phone (which isn't near as awesome as the Android phone I have now!)

- My Godly family

- School

- Blankets (I like being warm, but I probably have too many)

- Coffee

- Movie theaters

- Brownies

- My CAR!! (Although the Corolla is much nicer than the one I had then)

- Mountain Dew :)

- Flip flops

- My country (Sometimes it annoys me, but as written in this post, I'd rather be here than anywhere else)

This is what I wrote after the multi-page list:

"God, you've given me so many things. Please help me to be thankful for all these things I listed instead of sad about the things that aren't a part of this list. I don't deserve any of it, but you give it to me anyways. Father, help me to be overflowing in thankfulness."

My prayer above that I would always be thankful is the same one I have today. While it's deliciously great to have that giant meal, I don't want to be thankful just one day a year. God requires and deserves so much more than that. 

My Legal Drug

For the last few nights, I have been fiercely craving chocolate. Last night I ate a few of Sam's Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, but still was far from satisfied. I was so obsessed with getting chocolate last night that for a moment I considered leaving the house in the middle of the brand new episode of NCIS to go to the convenient store and buy a few bars. And that was crazy because I HAVE to get my weekly dose of McGee and Abby. But Mom had some M&M's hidden in her purse, so I was ok. I love my Mommy.

But I have to wonder, is this addiction good or bad? Well obviously, it's not good for you physically. That pack of M&M's contained like 240 calories, which will show up on my hips in the next few days, I'm sure. Although, I can counter that with my morning walks. (But my thighs, hips, and backside are sore from walking for the first time in three weeks, so Imma have to delay that a couple days.) And then there's the side effects that show up on my face. Too much chocolate can make little unwanted blemishes appear, but my makeup can cover up some of that.

On the other hand, chocolate does something awesome in the nerves. It releases endorphins, which are sort of like the brain's natural happy drug. I even wrote a paper about this in psychology. And got an A. Here's part of it...

I absolutely love chocolate. This sweet substance always calms me down in stressful times, and makes me feel happy when I’m far from alright. But why does chocolate do this to me? It has this affect in people because it activates the release of endorphins.

Endorphins, also called endogenous opioids, are neurotransmitters that act in a way similar to morphine, a strong pain reliever. Although they play a role in processes of motor coordination, learning and memory, gastrointestinal function, the control of seizures, and the hormonal regulation of the reproductive system, endorphins are most often recognized for their central role in modulation of pain. The affects of endorphins are obvious when the body is under stress, and then they reduce the effects of pain. As inhibitory neurotransmitters, endorphins are released from nerve cells to influence cells that have opioid receptors, thus dulling the activity of those cells.

So chocolate is my morphine, my legal drug. While my body may not like it, my mind most certainly does. It's not just a myth that chocolate makes a girl happy, it's a scientific fact. I also believe that chocolate is the reason that mankind has survived for so long, because without it, many women would have been overcome with anger and murdered their hubbies. And now that I've blogged about chocolate, I need to go to the convenient store and buy some Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. And maybe a bar of Dove chocolate. Or a Twix...

Why I Like Football

Ever since actually learning the rules to football in 9th grade P.E., I have been quite fascinated with the game. I don't get to watch it often because the girly shopping urge always hits me during the weekend and I don't ever realize there's a game on tv. But I did happen to watch the Arkansas/Alabama rivalry match a couple weekends ago, and it reminded me of why I love football so much:

1. I live vicariously through the players. I've been brought up to be a polite and proper young lady, so rough housing isn't really an option for me. But football is the absolute opposite of polite and proper girliness. In watching my team tackle the enemy to the ground, I feel like I'm letting out some built up aggression. Is it wrong that I feel good when the other team gets an injury?

2. It gives me a reason to be loud. When I'm watching a player run down the field toward the end zone, I steadily move up from my cushy seat on the couch while yelling at the tv. Then I throw my hands up in the air, scream at the top of my lungs, and do a happy dance when they score a few points. Mom always has to cover her ears and then she'll say something about how we're being too loud, but I can never understand what she says because my ears are still ringing from my own loudness.

3. I feel like I know something when I'm heckling the refs for bad calls or the players for doing something stupid. While I am by no means a football expert, I can say whatever the heck I want at the tv and feel justified because no one else in the house is paying enough attention to challenge my limited football knowledge. Of course, I've no idea why I talk at the tv so much, because nobody on the other side of the screen can hear me.

4. It's a reason to eat tons of salty, buttery popcorn. You see, popcorn is best in only two situations: Watching a movie and watching a ball game. So when I have the chance, I'm eating some popcorn, dangit. I know that I would probably regret it later, but I eat it anyways.

5. It absolutely wears me out, perfectly preparing me for a good post-game nap. Without even stepping onto a field, I exhaust myself with all the jumping, happy dancing, and screaming. And then there's the emotional exhaustion either by pure happiness or utter disappointment depending on the outcome of the game. What weekend wouldn't be complete without the ritualistic nap anyways, right?

While I enjoy watching football games, it is definitely not an obsession of mine. I'm not one to spout off stats of popular players or tell you which quarterback is better than another. I just enjoy the excitement of the games along with the excuses to be unapologetically noisy, potentially gluttonous, and encouraging of bodily harm. Sooooo not polite and proper.

Breaking the Habit

Normally where food is concerned, I am a creature of habit. My family and friends will tell you that I always order the same thing at Chick-fil-a: Number one, no pickle, fries, LARGE sweet tea. And maybe a small ice cream later if I feel like it. But I've been branching out and trying new foods lately and I'm lovin' it. (No McDonald's reference intended, although they also have good sweet tea)

Experimenting with sammiches has been a blast. After trying a bacon, lettuce and tomato sammich at a restaurant, I decided I would make my own with LOTS more than just three little slices of bacon. And omgeeee it was heavenly. Unfortunately bacon is expensive so I can't make this all the time, but since I got paid on Friday, I may have to make a special trip to the grocery store. Here's a pic of that loverly sammich...

I also considering trying turkey bacon. Supposedly it's better for you, but I'll have to examine some price tags before I can figure out of it's worth it. Darn my limited income.

A friend of mine made some black bean brownies recently. I was a little unsure when she was describing them to me, but it sounded so interesting, it was definitely worth a shot. Instead of using the regular eggs, water, and veggie oil, you mash up a can of black beans and throw it in with the brownie mix. Well not the can itself, because that wouldn't be very delicious at all. Anyways, I tried one and it wasn't as weird as it sounded! It was not as sweet as normally brownies, but it wasn't bad.

Just last week, I discovered something wonderful. Chobani greek yogurt. I have made many attempts to like yogurt and add it to my menu, but had been unsuccessful until meeting Chobani. I think I'm gonna be addicted to the strawberry one. Like I told my mommy, it's like strawberry ice cream except it's goopy instead of creamy. I tried the peach one this morning, and it was ok. There's still and blueberry and pomegranate one in the fridge that I will try later.

I'm quickly discovering that trying new foods is lots of fun, but don't expect me to change my Chick-fil-a order any time soon.

Goodbye Earl!

Earl, you were probably the most disappointing hurricane ever. After all the media frenzy and grocery stockpiling, one would think Earl would at least be worse than our frequent afternoon pop-up storms. Maybe Fiona will make up for it. It's named after the trigger-happy sidekick in Burn Notice and the Ogre-princess in Shrek instead of the murdered abusive hubby in a Dixie Chicks song, so it should be more interesting, right?

As I was watching the endless news coverage of the hurricane, one of the reporters for a national news network was in Atlantic Beach. I was admiring his attractiveness when I noticed that he was right next to the pier, so I knew exactly where he was standing. I came so close to jumping in my car and driving out the 15-20 minutes to say hi. But I woulda had to put makeup on and that woulda taken another 15-20 minutes and he woulda probably been gone by then. Or drowned by killer waves. Oh well.

Even though by dinner time we knew the hurricane wasn't going to be as bad as it could have been, we still made our traditional hurricane cookies. There's nothing really special about them as they are just frozen chocolate chip and peanut butter cookies, but we make about twice as much as we usually do and then snack on them all night long. It's a family-wide excuse to eat an unhealthy amount of sugary deliciousness that we'll probably regret later.

Something I noticed about the storm was that even though it was still a couple hundred miles off shore, it was already covering my skies with clouds. By the time Earl got its closest to us, the sky was completely blanketed with gray clouds that stretched in every direction. It was ominous yet fascinating at the same time. While I was at work that afternoon, I stood in front of the double glass doors and just watched. That's probably part of the reason I didn't get all my paperwork done yesterday.

I joke about how I wish the hurricane was more eventful, but seriously I'm glad that it did not cause any major damage here. I've been around long enough to see hurricanes destroy homes and I definitely did not want that to happen again. Even though it's fun having the power go out and my family play monopoly by candlelight til midnight, the fun is not worth all the trouble they cause. I'm so glad my God has control over these huge storms and steered it away from us!

A Soda-Free Me

As of today, I have gone 150 days without having a soda. Those of you who know me well understand just how big a deal this is. Last year, I was addicted to Mountain Dew, but no more, my friend! No more!

For my New Year's Resolution, after drinking probably about two liters of Pepsi, I decided to give up soda. Not just my beloved Mountain Dew, but all soda. Normally, my New Year's Resolutions last until maaaaaybe February, so I wasn't expecting to be too successful with this decision. But it's now the end of May, so I think it's safe to say that I'm doing well.

It was super difficult at first. Like I said, I was addicted to Mountain Dew (or more likely all the caffeine inside of it) so I experienced some serious headaches within the first few weeks. Substance withdrawal is no fun. At all. But Tylenol then became my best friend as it took the edge off the headaches.

The constant cravings also made the change a challenge. So many times I had to fight the urge to go to the vending machine at my office. And some of my coworkers kept taunting me with their cans of deliciousness. But I stopped trying to make up legitimate excuses and remained strong. And I didn't want to suffer the wrath of my older sister who also gave up soda and would kill me had she discovered I had some.

Now that I've been soda free for nearly half a year, I can honestly say that I do feel healthier. I'm drinking much more water and find that I actually crave it now. I still get caffeine occasionally from sweet tea and coffee, I don't have to worry about headaches and crashes after I have it.

What about my soda free plans for the future? Glad you asked. I just purchased a case of Mountain Dew Throwback with reeeeeaaaaal sugar and will hold onto it until New Year's Eve of this year. That day, I will down a can or two of that and whatever else I miss drinking. And then I'll feel so sick that I'll be more than happy to do my soda free year all over again.

The Wonderfulness of Chick-Fil-A

My sister said the other day, "Chick-fil-a is magic. I swear, they put like fairy dust in their chicken or something." And I think she may be right. But not only is the food delicious, the environment is wonderful too. No matter how I feel as I'm driving up to the building, I always become super happy when I enter through the double glass doors. Chick-fil-a probably has way too much power over me.

At least at our Morehead City branch, the employees are so nice. They smile sweetly and always say "my pleasure" after I thank them. In so many other places, the employees are pretty sad looking, but these people seem so happy to be working there that they are practically skipping around behind the counter.

Also, they use REAL flowers in cute little vases on the table! It's like they're saying "Not only will we provide you with delicious food for a relatively cheap price, but we think you're special enough to put actual carnations out for you!" While the men may not care, we ladies greatly enjoy being given flowers, even if it's only for the duration of our meal.

And then there's the cow decorations. The cardboard stands depicting a cow wearing a sign with hilarious misspellings is the original LOLcat. Think about it!! Chick-fil-a has been putting funny captions on animals long before icanhascheezburger.com has!

I find it funny that the Arbys next door is so empty while the drive thru line for Chick-fil-a is wrapped around the building. When Arbys first opened, they were really busy. But why eat there when awesomeness is just a few yards away?!?!

I'm sorry I've flung a craving on you. I would suggest you go there tomorrow to get some food, but they're closed on Sundays. Now you'll be thinking about their mouthwatering food all day long tomorrow with no way to satisfy that hunger. I'm sorry. :)