Early-Onset Cat Lady

On Friday night, my family finally got together to watch How to Train Your Dragon. We saw it in the theater and adored it, so we were super giddy when dad brought it home from the store. But with our busy schedules, that night was the first opportunity for all of us to be together and enjoy the movie. As we watched the awesomely animated flick, we kept pointing out just how much the dragon Toothless was like our cat Zaboo. There were so many similarities, like the way he walked, his facial expressions, and his attitude, that it seemed as though someone had been watching Zaboo and modeled the dragon after her. But then I got to thinking, is it weird that I'm noticing cat-like behavior in other things? Maybe this is early-onset cat lady?!?!

Because I've been so clueless lately about what I want to do with my life, maybe this is a sign! Looking back on my childhood, I might have actually considered becoming a crazy cat lady without even realizing it. When I was little, mom would let me draw pictures during the sermon in church with the single condition that my pictures had to be about Jesus. I would often draw cats with the excuse that Jesus made them. And then in one very rare moment of bad behavior, I threw a fit in a Walmart so that I could get a Catwoman action figure. Unlike the villain she really was, I always played with her as the hero and saving people's lives. I thought she was cool. Still do, as a matter of fact.

And now, I'm obsessed with icanhascheezburger.com. All the captioned kitties make me laugh so hard as I think "Oh my gosh, that's exactly what our cats would say!!!" I have to go to the site everyday to get my daily dose of feline gigglez. One night, my sisters and I went through about 30 pages of the 1000+ page site and nearly died of laughter. We spent several minutes doubled over, sometimes on the floor, gasping for oxygen, and desperately fighting the unexpected call of nature as the tears rolling down our cramped cheeks taunted us. I don't think my sides have ever hurt near that much as they did that night.

Another thing I've discovered online are Simon's Cat videos. It's such simple animation, not near as awesome-looking as How to Train Your Dragon, but so adorable and just as revealing of a cat's life that I cannot help but enjoy it. And I think my early-onset cat lady-ness has made me quite attracted to the character I assume to be Simon. Too weird? Probably so. Here's my favorite video:





I vowed a long time ago that one day, I will have an orange kitty named Pumpkin. It's just a fact. If I ever happen to get married, my fella will have to love Pumpkin whether he likes it or not. And then maybe later, I'll have another one named Pi. I'm so mathematically punny.

So I loved Catwoman, I'm addicted to icanhascheezburger.com, I'm entertained by Simon's Cat, and I will have a Pumpkin kitty. I think the evidence is quite strong in support of my future cat lady-ness. Time to hit the thrift stores to buy some frumpy clothes and start stocking up on Fancy Feast. You can all start sending me your leftover milk rings and buying me lint rollers for Christmas.

My Legal Drug

For the last few nights, I have been fiercely craving chocolate. Last night I ate a few of Sam's Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, but still was far from satisfied. I was so obsessed with getting chocolate last night that for a moment I considered leaving the house in the middle of the brand new episode of NCIS to go to the convenient store and buy a few bars. And that was crazy because I HAVE to get my weekly dose of McGee and Abby. But Mom had some M&M's hidden in her purse, so I was ok. I love my Mommy.

But I have to wonder, is this addiction good or bad? Well obviously, it's not good for you physically. That pack of M&M's contained like 240 calories, which will show up on my hips in the next few days, I'm sure. Although, I can counter that with my morning walks. (But my thighs, hips, and backside are sore from walking for the first time in three weeks, so Imma have to delay that a couple days.) And then there's the side effects that show up on my face. Too much chocolate can make little unwanted blemishes appear, but my makeup can cover up some of that.

On the other hand, chocolate does something awesome in the nerves. It releases endorphins, which are sort of like the brain's natural happy drug. I even wrote a paper about this in psychology. And got an A. Here's part of it...

I absolutely love chocolate. This sweet substance always calms me down in stressful times, and makes me feel happy when I’m far from alright. But why does chocolate do this to me? It has this affect in people because it activates the release of endorphins.

Endorphins, also called endogenous opioids, are neurotransmitters that act in a way similar to morphine, a strong pain reliever. Although they play a role in processes of motor coordination, learning and memory, gastrointestinal function, the control of seizures, and the hormonal regulation of the reproductive system, endorphins are most often recognized for their central role in modulation of pain. The affects of endorphins are obvious when the body is under stress, and then they reduce the effects of pain. As inhibitory neurotransmitters, endorphins are released from nerve cells to influence cells that have opioid receptors, thus dulling the activity of those cells.

So chocolate is my morphine, my legal drug. While my body may not like it, my mind most certainly does. It's not just a myth that chocolate makes a girl happy, it's a scientific fact. I also believe that chocolate is the reason that mankind has survived for so long, because without it, many women would have been overcome with anger and murdered their hubbies. And now that I've blogged about chocolate, I need to go to the convenient store and buy some Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. And maybe a bar of Dove chocolate. Or a Twix...

To Die Is Gain

After getting out of the shower Monday morning, I noticed there was a missed call on my cell phone. As usual, it was mom. I swear she always calls when I'm not available. So I called her back, expecting it to be a cute question on how to make something on her computer work. But she answered with the voice of one with a very heavy heart as she gave me some unexpected news.

An acquaintance from my high school days had been murdered over the weekend. I barely knew Jonathan, but the news still hit me hard. Everyone I know thought very highly of the young man who was participating in Youth and Family studies at a nearby Christian college.

I pulled a yearbook out of my closet and found his senior page decorated in pictures of him with his family and friends. Amidst the photos of good times was a verse, Psalm 56:11 "In God I trust. I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?" Man did the very worst possible thing to him by taking his life. But what did that really do? That brought him immediately into the presence of the God he loved and lived his life for.

I'm reminded of Philippians 1:21, "To live is Christ, and to die is gain." As much as I can remember and what I have heard of him tells me that Jonathan's life reflected Christ. He passionately followed God's leading in his life and wanted to help people as He instructed. But his death was not the loss of his life. Jonathan gained an eternal fellowship with God that I can't even begin to imagine. I mourn for his family, but I'm also rejoicing in the fact that he is face to face with his Creator and Savior at this very moment.

While I'm looking forward to being in God's presence as Jonathan is now, I am in no real hurry to get there. God had a plan for Jonathan's life, He fulfilled it, and He took Jonathan home. Apparently God still has a plan for my life, and when I complete it, then I will gain that face to face fellowship with the God that I love too.

Please pray for Jonathan's mom, dad, and little brother. I know they're relying on God during this time, but it's still going to be difficult for them. Thanks.

Superhero Capes?

I was thinking about superheroes yesterday. I've no idea why, really, but I got to thinking about why on earth they have capes. For the comic book and movie heroes that I know of, their capes serve no real purpose. But why is it such a staple for heroes like Superman and Batman? Random questions like this are always popping into my head, and I like researching and blogging about them, so this kinda stuff may be a regular feature.

Anyways, using my limited knowledge of superheroes, it doesn't seem very practical at all. Instead, I would think it would be more of a hindrance than a help. Edna Modes, the suit designer on "The Incredibles" (one of my favorite Disney/Pixar flicks ever) relayed the potential problems quite clearly while talking to Mr. Incredible about a new suit...

Edna: It will be bold! Dramatic!

Bob: Yeah!

Edna: Heroic!

Bob: Yeah. Something classic, like, like Dynaguy. Oh, he had a great look! Oh, the cape and the boots...

Edna: [throws a wadded ball of paper at Bob's head] No capes!

Bob: Isn't that my decision?

Edna: Do you remember Thunderhead? Tall, storm powers? Nice man, good with kids.

Bob: Listen, E...

Edna: November 15th of '58! All was well, another day saved, when... his cape snagged on a missile fin!

Bob: Thunderhead was not the brightest bulb...

Edna: Stratogale! April 23rd, '57! Cape caught in a jet turbine!

Bob: E, you can't generalize about these things...

Edna: Metaman, express elevator! Dynaguy, snagged on takeoff! Splashdown, sucked into a vortex!

Edna: No capes!

Smart woman. With even a Disney movie discussing the danger of capes, I can't help but wonder why they're so widespread in comic book culture. So I took the question to Facebook and got some kinda funny responses...

1. "We think they are stylish and they make a great blanket when you take your girl out for a picnic."

2. "They wear them to cover unsightly bulges."

3. "How could the comic books draw you in an epic pose if there wasn't a cape billowing behind you in the moonlight?"

The first two made me laugh, but the third one is probably closest to reality. It does look cool when it's flapping around in the wind, giving the appearance of movement in a still two-dimensional picture. But then I checked into some online comic book forums to see what they thought...

"In Batman's case, the cape makes him look bigger, which makes it harder for crooks to shoot him while also being intimidating." - I totally get that. If I met Batman in a dark alley, would I be more scared of him if he were in his tights and pointy mask alone? Or would the silhouette of a flapping cape make him appear more menacing? Definitely scarier with the cape. Also, Batman's cape apparently does have some practical applications as it is bulletproof, or something like that. Why not go all sci-fi and give him a force field?!?! Get with it, that's what all the superheroes are doing nowadays.

So it seems like it's all for looks, either for enhancing comics or the fright factor of a suit. Edna would totally disapprove. And now that I know the answer to this question, I may have to now discover why superheroes wear their underpants on the outside. I don't think that anything could justify that.

Nylon Shackles

Based on the good reaction to my necktie focused post What Is The Purpose? and a request by a friend, I researched the point of pantyhose. I remember having to wear pantyhose to church as a little girl and I ALWAYS hated it. Yes, it looked adorable, but it made me way too warm and kept sliding down so I would have to readjust it. But on the other hand, I do remember some thoroughly awesome tie-dyed pantyhose that made it worthwhile for a time, haha!

Nylon pantyhose has been a success (and a nuisance) since its invention in the late 30's. Advertised as the "miracle fiber", women all over the place quickly jumped on this new fashion trend that almost instantly replaced standard stockings. It was so immediately popular that nearly four million pairs were sold within the first few days following the release. In the 60's as ladies' hemlines migrated higher, pantyhose became a requirement, probably so that they could say they were still being modest because their legs were technically covered. Because women are rule-benders like that. I won't deny it!

It's my guess that at the time ladies were getting more involved in professional work settings, pantyhose was widely accepted as a necessary piece of an outfit so their office dress codes reflected that. (Although after skipping over several links, which I will not discuss here, I wonder if it was a requirement set by their male supervisors for other less-than-noble purposes.) But now that the popularity of pantyhose is clearly declining, I have no idea why some establishments still hold to the idea that "women must wear pantyhose." This is the point were I consider joining the feminist bandwagon, but thankfully my common sense regained control of me.

This annoying tool of the devil does do some good for the legs as it gives the appearance of smooth skin tones and may cover the fact that you hadn't shaved in a few days. But in researching for this post, I discovered several health risks of pantyhose that again I will not mention here. After reading that list of possible horribleness, I have vowed to avoid wearing the stuff again at all costs. Never again will I be forced to wear those nylon shackles that chain me to pointless standards!

What Is The Purpose?

For quite some time, I have been vexed by a question which no one I know can answer. After pondering the question for weeks on end and coming up with no logical solution on my own, I resorted to my good friend Google who was more than happy to point me in the right direction. So what the heckins is the purpose of a necktie?!?!

For centuries, this annoying piece of fabric has been nearly strangling every man with whom it comes in contact. But since it's so uncomfortable and serves no purpose whatsoever, why is it a requirement for every old man at church to wear one? Why are they such a staple of professional and dressy fashion? Don't get me wrong, ties are snazzy and look super nice with a suit. Zachary Levi as Chuck makes it look quite adorable, See? He makes the untucked shirt and pocket protector look super nice too, so maybe it's just him, I dunno.

Anywaaaaays, after looking it up on Google, I discovered that it started out as part of a 17th century military uniform for the purpose of keeping the neck warm during the winter or to wipe sweat away during the summer. Makes perfect sense! It eventually took off as a fashion statement and wormed its way into society as a symbol of status and professionalism. But it is completely useless as a functional piece of clothing now because the bands are too small to keep anything warm, and sweat just doesn't do well on silk.

So why continue to wear it and make it a professional standard?! I've absolutely no idea. I also have no idea why I wanted to post this. But maybe some of you were curious too? You can now thank me for providing you with useless information.

That being said, I think this is a perfectly purposeful tie, don't you?