Old age is so going to rock. Tons of people worry about their retirement and consider expensive cosmetic surgery, but I think I've devised a great plan of what I'm going to do when I get ancient and wrinkly.
I will live in a swanky 2 bedroom condo with Sam at an assisted living place. She'll have her purse doggie and I'll have my orange kitty. The kitty will be a purse kitty and enjoy it whether it likes it or not. I'll even have a basket on my walker and carry it around the building with me at all times. My kitty will be like an organic heater, so I'll never have to worry about having a cold lap.
Sam and I will host parties with the other old people when new episodes of our favorite shows come on. Chuck will be in its 53rd season and I will still be watching it faithfully and admiring Zachary Levi. We will provide the forbidden snacks and the entry fee for the visitors would be a case of Mountain Dew.
Everyone I've known throughout my life will remember how awesome I was to them, so they'll be willing to do whatever I needed free of charge. Like if my flying car isn't working properly, the annoying church brat turned adult mechanic will gladly fix my car because I always brought him cookies. The only downside to this part of my plan is that I have to start being super nice to teenagers right now.
I will bribe the facility's staff will my old lady cuteness, cookies, and the occasional Benjamin (a chunk of change now, but I'm factoring inflation) to bring me Chick-fil-a and pizza whenever I wanted. I can only take healthy old people food for so long, ya know? Those young sweet staff kids will be wrapped around my chicken-grease-covered arthritic finger.
I will take full advantage of the fact that white old lady hair tends to turn purpley. Just because I would be old doesn't mean I have to get the short curly 'do and constantly try to dye it my original brown. I'll have long, naturally purplish hair and all the hip kids will be jealous.
Instead of traditional Bingo, I'll start up an Apples to Apples club. But we'll probably be shut down before our third meeting because some people laughed too hard and broke something. And then I'll take the club underground and enjoy our gigglez away from the condemning eyes of the administrators. I'll make a rule that no one talks about Apples to Apples club. That should keep it safe.
Yeah. I can't wait to get old.
Showing posts with label Future. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Future. Show all posts
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Goodbye 2010!
Thank God 2010 is over! For a while, I thought it would never end! All in all, it's been a pretty great year for me. Sure, it was sprinkled with challenges and some heart-wrenching disappointments as any year. But I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has blessed me abundantly in these 12 months. It's been so awesome that I simply couldn't move on to another goofy post before stopping to acknowledge some of the things He's done for me. Here's three of the main things that stick out to me this year...
1. Purchasing my new car! As my '95 Nissan Sentra was parked on its death bed, I had to car hunt in three of the hottest weeks of summer. After my first test drive, I was in love with a 2008 Toyota Corolla and God orchestrated the entire purchasing experience perfectly. I knew and trusted the only previous owner and got an excellent deal when I paid nearly half of the cost up front. I'm still in awe of how greatly it worked out!
2. Graduating with my Associates in Applied Science, Computer Information Technology! It took my nearly three years of schooling at Carteret Community College, but I finally left the place with a degree! I haven't done a single thing with it yet, but it's still a great accomplishment and the diploma looks awesome hanging on my wall. And because of the last two years there, I developed a good friendship with Katrina Barber.
3. Completing Beth Moore's Believing God study! It took me nearly twice as long as it should have to finally finish the study, but that's my own fault for being slow on it. The entire study seriously changed my life. My growth closer to God this year has been mostly due to Beth. It was so eye-opening and I can't thank God enough for bringing it to me. If you ever have the opportunity to do this study, please do not pass it up. You won't regret it.
Last year was good because of these three things and countless others and I am giddily looking forward to what God has in store for me this year. Jeremiah 29:11 says "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.'" I've absolutely no idea what my future looks like in 2011 - where I'm going or what I'll to be doing - but I know it's going to be great and completely perfect for me. Because of Him, I can have hope. And I'm about to explode of it!
1. Purchasing my new car! As my '95 Nissan Sentra was parked on its death bed, I had to car hunt in three of the hottest weeks of summer. After my first test drive, I was in love with a 2008 Toyota Corolla and God orchestrated the entire purchasing experience perfectly. I knew and trusted the only previous owner and got an excellent deal when I paid nearly half of the cost up front. I'm still in awe of how greatly it worked out!
2. Graduating with my Associates in Applied Science, Computer Information Technology! It took my nearly three years of schooling at Carteret Community College, but I finally left the place with a degree! I haven't done a single thing with it yet, but it's still a great accomplishment and the diploma looks awesome hanging on my wall. And because of the last two years there, I developed a good friendship with Katrina Barber.
3. Completing Beth Moore's Believing God study! It took me nearly twice as long as it should have to finally finish the study, but that's my own fault for being slow on it. The entire study seriously changed my life. My growth closer to God this year has been mostly due to Beth. It was so eye-opening and I can't thank God enough for bringing it to me. If you ever have the opportunity to do this study, please do not pass it up. You won't regret it.
Last year was good because of these three things and countless others and I am giddily looking forward to what God has in store for me this year. Jeremiah 29:11 says "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.'" I've absolutely no idea what my future looks like in 2011 - where I'm going or what I'll to be doing - but I know it's going to be great and completely perfect for me. Because of Him, I can have hope. And I'm about to explode of it!
Monday, October 25, 2010
Early-Onset Cat Lady
On Friday night, my family finally got together to watch How to Train Your Dragon. We saw it in the theater and adored it, so we were super giddy when dad brought it home from the store. But with our busy schedules, that night was the first opportunity for all of us to be together and enjoy the movie. As we watched the awesomely animated flick, we kept pointing out just how much the dragon Toothless was like our cat Zaboo. There were so many similarities, like the way he walked, his facial expressions, and his attitude, that it seemed as though someone had been watching Zaboo and modeled the dragon after her. But then I got to thinking, is it weird that I'm noticing cat-like behavior in other things? Maybe this is early-onset cat lady?!?!
Because I've been so clueless lately about what I want to do with my life, maybe this is a sign! Looking back on my childhood, I might have actually considered becoming a crazy cat lady without even realizing it. When I was little, mom would let me draw pictures during the sermon in church with the single condition that my pictures had to be about Jesus. I would often draw cats with the excuse that Jesus made them. And then in one very rare moment of bad behavior, I threw a fit in a Walmart so that I could get a Catwoman action figure. Unlike the villain she really was, I always played with her as the hero and saving people's lives. I thought she was cool. Still do, as a matter of fact.
And now, I'm obsessed with icanhascheezburger.com. All the captioned kitties make me laugh so hard as I think "Oh my gosh, that's exactly what our cats would say!!!" I have to go to the site everyday to get my daily dose of feline gigglez. One night, my sisters and I went through about 30 pages of the 1000+ page site and nearly died of laughter. We spent several minutes doubled over, sometimes on the floor, gasping for oxygen, and desperately fighting the unexpected call of nature as the tears rolling down our cramped cheeks taunted us. I don't think my sides have ever hurt near that much as they did that night.
Another thing I've discovered online are Simon's Cat videos. It's such simple animation, not near as awesome-looking as How to Train Your Dragon, but so adorable and just as revealing of a cat's life that I cannot help but enjoy it. And I think my early-onset cat lady-ness has made me quite attracted to the character I assume to be Simon. Too weird? Probably so. Here's my favorite video:
I vowed a long time ago that one day, I will have an orange kitty named Pumpkin. It's just a fact. If I ever happen to get married, my fella will have to love Pumpkin whether he likes it or not. And then maybe later, I'll have another one named Pi. I'm so mathematically punny.
So I loved Catwoman, I'm addicted to icanhascheezburger.com, I'm entertained by Simon's Cat, and I will have a Pumpkin kitty. I think the evidence is quite strong in support of my future cat lady-ness. Time to hit the thrift stores to buy some frumpy clothes and start stocking up on Fancy Feast. You can all start sending me your leftover milk rings and buying me lint rollers for Christmas.
Because I've been so clueless lately about what I want to do with my life, maybe this is a sign! Looking back on my childhood, I might have actually considered becoming a crazy cat lady without even realizing it. When I was little, mom would let me draw pictures during the sermon in church with the single condition that my pictures had to be about Jesus. I would often draw cats with the excuse that Jesus made them. And then in one very rare moment of bad behavior, I threw a fit in a Walmart so that I could get a Catwoman action figure. Unlike the villain she really was, I always played with her as the hero and saving people's lives. I thought she was cool. Still do, as a matter of fact.
And now, I'm obsessed with icanhascheezburger.com. All the captioned kitties make me laugh so hard as I think "Oh my gosh, that's exactly what our cats would say!!!" I have to go to the site everyday to get my daily dose of feline gigglez. One night, my sisters and I went through about 30 pages of the 1000+ page site and nearly died of laughter. We spent several minutes doubled over, sometimes on the floor, gasping for oxygen, and desperately fighting the unexpected call of nature as the tears rolling down our cramped cheeks taunted us. I don't think my sides have ever hurt near that much as they did that night.
Another thing I've discovered online are Simon's Cat videos. It's such simple animation, not near as awesome-looking as How to Train Your Dragon, but so adorable and just as revealing of a cat's life that I cannot help but enjoy it. And I think my early-onset cat lady-ness has made me quite attracted to the character I assume to be Simon. Too weird? Probably so. Here's my favorite video:
I vowed a long time ago that one day, I will have an orange kitty named Pumpkin. It's just a fact. If I ever happen to get married, my fella will have to love Pumpkin whether he likes it or not. And then maybe later, I'll have another one named Pi. I'm so mathematically punny.
So I loved Catwoman, I'm addicted to icanhascheezburger.com, I'm entertained by Simon's Cat, and I will have a Pumpkin kitty. I think the evidence is quite strong in support of my future cat lady-ness. Time to hit the thrift stores to buy some frumpy clothes and start stocking up on Fancy Feast. You can all start sending me your leftover milk rings and buying me lint rollers for Christmas.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Calculating My Future?
A few years back, I considered becoming a math teacher. I have ALWAYS loved math and seriously thought about teaching it to others. Maybe not in the traditional high school setting, but possibly as a tutor. But things happened as my education and career goals changed and took me away from the study of numbers. I may yet have a chance to pursue this idea...
When I was homeschooling I pretty much taught myself math and I rocked at it. And then I had the pleasure of having astounding math teachers like Mrs. Brock in middle school, and then Mrs. Walker and Mrs. Cormier in high school. Also for a course in college, I had the amazing Mr. Parker - a cute old guy who was awesome enough to let us have a break one morning while he beautifully played his guitar for us. Contrast my great teachers with the instructors my younger sisters have had, and I know the value of an excellent teacher.
My dad is a great pastor and teacher, but he's not good at all in the math department. So when the private school asked him to take on a math course in addition to his two Bible classes, I laughed. Like, loud. For realz. The man can teach some Bible, but Algebra I? HA! But then he and I came up with a genius plan. I would teach him the lesson at night and he would teach it to his students this next morning. If they had questions that he couldn't answer, he would consult me and I would explain it to him. And I was still in high school at this time.
Now after much thought and prayer, we are bringing my sister Lindy home for school this year. But that left us with a dilemma. My mom simply cannot teach higher math like Algebra and Geometry. But I've been working with Lindy on extra math practice this summer and I am quickly remembering why I love math and helping others appreciate it. And the arrangements are now final - I will teach her Algebra II this year.
My parents have told me for years that I would make a good math teacher. Even in doing presentations for my computer courses, my instructors have told me that I would make a good teacher. It's something that I would not mind doing, but I wasn't too sure about it when it was time to make education decisions. I don't regret studying computers, but now I'm sorta considering a future as a math teacher again. Don't get me wrong, I love my radio job, but do I really want to do that for the rest of my life? And I've no idea what to do about it if I decided on teaching, because I really don't feel like going back to school right now. My brain still hurts from studying operating systems. (BTW, Windows 7 rocks so much harder than Vista.)
It's definitely something to think on and pray about. But for right now, I get to try out my math instruction skills on my sister. I hope she enjoys being my guinea pig! And while I'm practicing on her, I'll also practice writing my name on a dry-erase board. "Miss Carroll"... "Miss Mandy"... "Miss Awesome"?
When I was homeschooling I pretty much taught myself math and I rocked at it. And then I had the pleasure of having astounding math teachers like Mrs. Brock in middle school, and then Mrs. Walker and Mrs. Cormier in high school. Also for a course in college, I had the amazing Mr. Parker - a cute old guy who was awesome enough to let us have a break one morning while he beautifully played his guitar for us. Contrast my great teachers with the instructors my younger sisters have had, and I know the value of an excellent teacher.
My dad is a great pastor and teacher, but he's not good at all in the math department. So when the private school asked him to take on a math course in addition to his two Bible classes, I laughed. Like, loud. For realz. The man can teach some Bible, but Algebra I? HA! But then he and I came up with a genius plan. I would teach him the lesson at night and he would teach it to his students this next morning. If they had questions that he couldn't answer, he would consult me and I would explain it to him. And I was still in high school at this time.
Now after much thought and prayer, we are bringing my sister Lindy home for school this year. But that left us with a dilemma. My mom simply cannot teach higher math like Algebra and Geometry. But I've been working with Lindy on extra math practice this summer and I am quickly remembering why I love math and helping others appreciate it. And the arrangements are now final - I will teach her Algebra II this year.
My parents have told me for years that I would make a good math teacher. Even in doing presentations for my computer courses, my instructors have told me that I would make a good teacher. It's something that I would not mind doing, but I wasn't too sure about it when it was time to make education decisions. I don't regret studying computers, but now I'm sorta considering a future as a math teacher again. Don't get me wrong, I love my radio job, but do I really want to do that for the rest of my life? And I've no idea what to do about it if I decided on teaching, because I really don't feel like going back to school right now. My brain still hurts from studying operating systems. (BTW, Windows 7 rocks so much harder than Vista.)
It's definitely something to think on and pray about. But for right now, I get to try out my math instruction skills on my sister. I hope she enjoys being my guinea pig! And while I'm practicing on her, I'll also practice writing my name on a dry-erase board. "Miss Carroll"... "Miss Mandy"... "Miss Awesome"?
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