Believing God

An hour ago, I started typing up intellectual stuff about the Bible study I've been going through. My fingers went clickity-clickity across the keyboard making arrangements of letters pop up on my screen, but after two paragraphs, I realized that just wasn't working for me. So I backed up a few sentences and restarted. Then that didn't work for me either. Sitting in my bed, frustrated, my dad's simple words after every sermon flew through my brain... "Tell somebody what Jesus has done for you."

That said, this is what Jesus has done for me so far through this Bible study...

Through Beth Moore's study "Believing God," He has pointed out to me the disconnect between what I know as facts and how these facts are interacting with my life. My theology has been totally different from my reality. I KNOW that God is capable of miraculous things and is looking out for the best for me, but I haven't bothered to pray for anything miraculous in a loooooong time. To me, it was pointless because He would do whatever He thought was best whether I prayed for it or not. Why bother asking Him for anything, getting my expectations up when I may very well be disappointed? So I spared myself the disappointment and pretty much never brought any requests before Him.

Until just a couple weeks ago.

With the last year of politics leading up to a critical vote in congress concerning new laws that I thought could very well destroy the nation I love, I was sick to my stomach in worry. In the twenty-four hours before the vote, I finally took these worries to God, telling Him my fears although He already fully knew them. Moments before the vote, I passionately prayed that God would do wonders either on Capitol Hill or within my own life.

At the end of that prayer, I felt such a peace that I can't even begin to explain. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that He would take care of me no matter what happened in Washington that night. But it wasn't like the careless and cluesless knowledge that He would care for me as described before. No, this was total peace and confidence in His promises to me, and it was so ridiculously refreshing. As I logged onto my laptop and saw the news that the potentially nation-crippling bill had passed, I found myself still at peace trusting the God who was in charge, not disappointed in Him because it didn't go the way I wanted.

Two days later, dad brought in the mail at lunchtime and tossed an envelope in my lap. Curious, I opened it to find an unexpected check addressed to me for a big church thing I taught a class for weeks ago. With my jaw dropped, I did a happy dance in the inside... that might or might not had migrated to the outside. An hour later, I went to work where I was given yet another envelope. A random appreciation card from my bosses held a walmart gift card. Again, my happy dance took over, but then I stopped as an idea suddenly struck me. In an unnecessary response to my prayers two days before, God had proven to me that He was going to personally care for me. I nearly fell to the floor in thankful tears.

One intense instance of total belief in God resulted in Him pouring out His blessings upon me. In the last several years, what have I missed out on because I had not been exercising trust in Him? I may never know. But I do know that I don't want to miss out on that ever again.