Letter to a Stranger

Dear dude in the steakhouse this evening,

You stunk! Please understand that covering yourself in your cheap cologne is no substitute for bathing. I wanted to enjoy my delicious steak and buttery baked potato, but I couldn't get the taste of your overwhelming stench out of my mouth. Try the scent of body wash like Irish Spring. Now THAT smells good. And doesn't waft over the booth divider.

Also, please shave your scraggly face and wear some shirts that are not a girly shade. Or how about a nice suit and fedora? I can imagine the grimace on your face right now, but give it a try. Your girlfriend would find it attractive. Or did you scare her away with your awful cologne?

A note about the next time I sit in the booth adjacent to yours: If you ruin my steak and tato again, I will have the waitress take the bill to your table.

Thanks!

Mandy, Sam and Grace