One of our cats is super old and apparently has become unable to bath herself properly. Poor thing. We tried using those special waterless baths in a bottle for kittehs and even some wipe thingies, but they didn't work too well. So we had to actually give her a water bath. And now I shall pass on my tips to you, just in case you ever find yourself in a position to bath a particularly angry cat.
How to bathe a kitty
1. Find a dirty kitty. And I mean really dirty. Even if your cat has just rolled around in in the most disgusting places in your yard, it may not be worth it. Instead, wait to see if your cat gets really super dirty and stays that way for a while. Only then should you attempt such a dangerous mission.
2. Grab the kitty and hold it at arm's length. I understand you want to comfort it and love on it and tell it that it'll all be ok. But as soon as you bring it anywhere near the bathtub, it will try its best to dig its sharp claws in to whatever is nearest. AKA, your flesh. And then you'll never get it in the tub if its arms are wrapped around you and secured indefinitely by surprisingly large talons.
3. Have one person hold the cat in place in the water while the other one does the washing. And that one person should make the cat face the wall so the temptation to claw its way out is lessened. Know that if it even thinks it sees the door, it will bolt for it and drip water all down your hallway, on your coffee table, and in those unreachable places under your couch.
4. Pour water on the kitty and rub it gently. Try not to focus on all the unknown stuff coming off the cat and dispersing in your water. You don't want to know. And if it seems like the kitty is kind of enjoying the bath, it's not true. It's faking, hoping that you'll loosen your grip and giving it a chance to bolt for it and drip water all down your hallway, on your...
5. After a sufficient cleansing, wrap your soaked kitty in a towel that is still warm from the dryer. Massage gently until much of the water has been absorbed. And then let the cat go and enjoy laughing as it shakes its paws.
6. Leave the angry feline alone for an hour and then enjoy your clean, fresh-smelling kitty!
Now that I'm done giving you all my hard-earned wisdom, I need to go nurse a wound. Who knew claws could go that deep!?!?
I prefer the disposable kitties. If it gets dirty, take it far away and let it go. Then go pick up an adorable kitten. Everyone knows cats are horriblle, mood driven,finicky, bi-polar creatures (not unlikely most women). But kittens are awesome. They are actually cute, entertaining, and much more sociable than adult cats. As soon as its full grown, take it for a ride and start over. Or you could go with the fire hose and Kitty kennel bathing method. The Kitty is unable to harm you and the direct application of high pressure water is guaranteed to clean the cat more thoroughly than a hand washing. Just my$ .02 worth....
ReplyDeleteGasp! Bite your tongue! And keep your 2 cents!
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