In the event of the zombie apocalypse, what would be your battle plan? Who would you bring? What would you use as a weapon? Would you last past the first few hours?
I hate giving away my strategy for the zombie apocalypse, but since you asked...
The most important part of my plan is the prep work to be done well before they're actually walking the streets. Using my radio connections, I'll install giant speakers underground that will rise above ground when the apocalypse happens. Barricaded in my station studio and knowing zombies' love for pop music, I'll air some "Thriller" first, just to see them dance. And then I'll suddenly switch from pop to the opposite of pop - country. Upon hearing the horribleness in their picky and decaying ears, they'll simply disintegrate.
The people I would bring? Well that's easy! Much like former presidential candidate Mike Huckabee's policy on illegal immigration, I'll just place Chuck Norris between me and the baddies. But to make it a little easier for his 70-year-old self, I'll also enlist the help of Bruce Campbell (totally loved Burn Notice: The Fall of Sam Axe, by the way) and Bruce Willis. These two would be affectionately known as the Backup Bruces while Chuck's code name would be The Kraken. Mostly because I want to go all Liam Neeson and epically scream "Release the Kraken!" My command would confuse the zombies as they would be looking for a giant monster, when what they should be fearing is the possibility that the combined awesomeness of Chuck and the Bruces may cause the world to explode. Having those three is a big risk, but I think it's worth it.
Based on the two previous steps, there wouldn't be much need for a personal weapon. Not many, if any at all, will survive both the music treatment and my team of defenders. But like all my fellow ninjas, I'll use whatever is within arm's reach to my advantage. I can blind them with post-its over their eyes, staple their noggins, and tape their legs together. Then I can beat them with mic stands and office chairs while making Star Wars light saber sounds, you know, to make it fun!
And would I last the first few hours? Two words: Duh! Winning!
Anyone else have good questions? Leave a comment on my Ask Mandy post. I'll be writing up the next answers soon!
I've just clicked to download that Burn Notice prequal, can't wait to watch it tomorrow night, along with Chuck!! I doubt it will be shown in Aust anytime in the near future.
ReplyDeleteOh, and excellent post!!
That is the greatest zombie apocalypse plan ever. I tip my hat to you. My plan was just to go on a bloody rampage with my favorite katana.
ReplyDeleteI'll join your team!
Amy, hope you enjoyed the movie! And I thought Monday's Chuck was great too!
ReplyDeleteSteph, thank you! That means tons to me. And you are welcome to join my team! But you'll have to work with the Bruces.
I think I can handle them. Now, Chuck, I'm not so sure.
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