The Livestock's Christmas

On Sunday, we had a very interesting Bible study meeting. We deviated from our studies of the Sermon on the Mount to do a special Christmas story exercise. After reading the Christmas story from Luke 2, a few of us retold the story from the perspective of certain key characters. There was a retelling concerning Mary, Joseph, and the Shepherds as anyone would expect. But I was assigned the livestock. That's right, the livestock. Here's how I think it sorta went that first Christmas night...

It was like any normal evening in that Bethlehem stable. The cows, pigs, sheep, and goats were flinging yo mama jokes across the room. Every now and then one of the cows would have the audacity to say "Your girlfriend's a heifer!" to one of the other cows. The jumpy sheep were so happy that the angry cows were in their own stalls. When the pigs weren't being obnoxious, they would ask the other animals when the food was gonna get there.

Unexpectedly, the door was opened and their owner entered with no food, but rather a couple of unfamiliar humans. As they moved sluggishly past the pigs, they snorted that these tired and sweaty people smelled worse than they did a week after their baths. The shorter of the two with the higher-pitched voice patted the heads of the shy sheep who suddenly decided they may very well like the new people who settled themselves in the corner.

They soon noticed the unusual form of the short one and some of the animals became alarmed. They asked among themselves why she was so fat. "Maybe she is sick?" a cow inquired. The pigs selfishly began asking about food for the fifteenth time that day, and then the old grumpy goat in another corner glared at the annoying swine, saying "Maybe she ate too much bacon." If only you could have heard the chorus of the animals' laughter as the pigs grunted at the joke, but to Mary and Joseph's ears it sounded of only moo's and baa's.

The stable had been calm for a while as the animals enjoyed people-watching, but then the woman started to make some less than calming noises. As she got louder, the sheep scurried as far away as possible while the cows peered out of their stalls to see what was happening. They soon regretted that. Quickly, the stable became abuzz with animal chatter, saying...

"Oh my gosh, what's happening to the woman?"

"That's not normal, is it?"

"Is she broken?"

"OH! OH GROSS! MY EYES, MY EYES!!"

"Make it stop!! MAKE IT STOP!!"

"I'll have nightmares about this for weeks!"

"Where's my food?"

"What IS that wrinkly thing?!"

"It's gross! ...but cute!! ... but gross!"

"Why are they setting it in my food trough?!?!?!"

The chatter died down as the little human looked around at all the animals. Silence fell upon them and chills went down each of their spines when they realized this was something special. This was not a normal mini human. This... this was their Creator. The one who painted the spots on the cows, carefully designed the pigs' twisty tails, and formed the legs of the frolicking sheep. Even the grumpy old goat had to fight off tears of joy as he came face to face with God himself. Their only regret was that they couldn't follow him home and see what He was here to do.

I've no idea what went through the minds of those animals that night, but it is certainly fun to imagine. In all seriousness, please remember that Christmas isn't about Santa, food, and presents. It's about remembering God's gift to us - Salvation through Jesus. Merry Christmas, my friends!