Dear dude in the steakhouse this evening,
You stunk! Please understand that covering yourself in your cheap cologne is no substitute for bathing. I wanted to enjoy my delicious steak and buttery baked potato, but I couldn't get the taste of your overwhelming stench out of my mouth. Try the scent of body wash like Irish Spring. Now THAT smells good. And doesn't waft over the booth divider.
Also, please shave your scraggly face and wear some shirts that are not a girly shade. Or how about a nice suit and fedora? I can imagine the grimace on your face right now, but give it a try. Your girlfriend would find it attractive. Or did you scare her away with your awful cologne?
A note about the next time I sit in the booth adjacent to yours: If you ruin my steak and tato again, I will have the waitress take the bill to your table.
Thanks!
Mandy, Sam and Grace
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Fight
"...Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes." - Nehemiah 4:14
So many times I've seen someone I love make a mistake that wound up being life altering. I hated it for them, but they knew they were wrong and probably needed to crash 'n burn in order to learn their lesson. After some effort to talk some sense into them, I would give up and hope they grow up.
But this quite passive attitude is completely unacceptable. I need to fight for them. Instead of fighting with a sword or bow and arrow like in my favorite action/adventure movie, I need to fight through prayer. The God who has promised to answer that prayer is "great and awesome," and has already proven Himself to me countless times.
Jeremiah 32:17 says "A Lord Jehovah! Behold You have made the heavens and earth by Your great power and by Your outstretched arm; there is nothing too hard for You." He holds all that power, so granting a little wisdom to a loved one would be no trouble at all for Him.
Psalm 62:11-12 says "One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard: that You, O God, are strong, and that You, O Lord, are loving." So not only does He have that strength, but He also loves His kids. When one of the kids He adores requests wisdom, guidance, or strength to do what's right, He's not going to hold it back!
Obviously, He is the one who holds all the power. My words of advice to a friend are only so potent. So what can I do? Fight. Get on my knees and fight. Remember MY Lord who is great and awesome and pray for this loved one. I'm going to pray for a miracle and expect a miracle. And then I'm going to excitedly praise His name when He does something awesome.
So many times I've seen someone I love make a mistake that wound up being life altering. I hated it for them, but they knew they were wrong and probably needed to crash 'n burn in order to learn their lesson. After some effort to talk some sense into them, I would give up and hope they grow up.
But this quite passive attitude is completely unacceptable. I need to fight for them. Instead of fighting with a sword or bow and arrow like in my favorite action/adventure movie, I need to fight through prayer. The God who has promised to answer that prayer is "great and awesome," and has already proven Himself to me countless times.
Jeremiah 32:17 says "A Lord Jehovah! Behold You have made the heavens and earth by Your great power and by Your outstretched arm; there is nothing too hard for You." He holds all that power, so granting a little wisdom to a loved one would be no trouble at all for Him.
Psalm 62:11-12 says "One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard: that You, O God, are strong, and that You, O Lord, are loving." So not only does He have that strength, but He also loves His kids. When one of the kids He adores requests wisdom, guidance, or strength to do what's right, He's not going to hold it back!
Obviously, He is the one who holds all the power. My words of advice to a friend are only so potent. So what can I do? Fight. Get on my knees and fight. Remember MY Lord who is great and awesome and pray for this loved one. I'm going to pray for a miracle and expect a miracle. And then I'm going to excitedly praise His name when He does something awesome.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Phone Etiquette
Part of my job at the radio station is answering calls and directing them to the appropriate individual. Not my favorite part of the job because I tend to get tongue-tied and sound like a babbling idiot. And now you're wondering why I'm in radio if I tend to get tongue-tied. Well if you weren't wondering before, now you are because I just mentioned it. And I hate to disappoint you with my lack of an answer, but let's get back on track, shall we?
So I answer the phone a lot. And recently, I've had several calls where I answer as normal, then the person asks for someone who either isn't in the office at the moment or does not even work there at all. Upon hearing my less-than-desired answer, they abruptly hang up on me. How rude!
Instead of calling them back and fussing them out for their rudeness, I'm going to record some of my tips on phone etiquette and hope by some miracle they stumble across this post. You know who you are. Take notes.
First, simply because YOU dialed the wrong number and didn't expect to speak to me does not mean it's ok for you to just hang up! People of decency should apologize and it is super nice if you'd wish the phone answerer a nice day. Only then can you end the call without acting like a jerk muffin.
Before you call, please have in mind exactly what you want to say. Write down a few notes to refer back to if necessary. Because if you're all confused and spouting out "um's" every three or four words, you will be thoughtlessly wasting the time of the person on the other end of the line and probably trying their patience. I generally have a whole dang speech prepared when I call requesting an interview. It goes something like this...
"Hello, my name is Mandy and I'm with the Talk Station in Morehead City, North Carolina. I was calling to see if Congressman Jones would be interested in joining Ben Ball on the morning show Coastal Daybreak to talk about his efforts to increase the North Carolina public beach access with Senators Hagan and Burr. (pause for big breath) Would this possible early next week?"
Normally after the quick spew, I take the next few seconds to really catch my breath as the Congressman's aide responds. It may be a lot of information, but at least I'm prepared and ready to do business, dangit!
Now I must take a couple paragraphs to address teenage phone manners. When you call a home and someone answers, don't just say "Hi" and expect us to know who you are. We are awesome yes, but not psychic, so please introduce yourself. Because when you start asking about the time of the youth event thingy my parents planned, then I'm twice as confused because I don't know what you're talking about in addition to who you are.
Please request to speak with the person you're trying to reach instead of assuming I am my mother. My mom is adorable, so I'm flattered, but still! There are five women in my house and only frequent callers have just recently begun to name us correctly. And sometimes even they have to go down the list of sisters before naming the right one. It's almost like a fun guessing game, but the only clue they get is "Nope, try again!"
So people, PLEASE talk on the phone properly. Ok, rant over. I hope you learned something.
So I answer the phone a lot. And recently, I've had several calls where I answer as normal, then the person asks for someone who either isn't in the office at the moment or does not even work there at all. Upon hearing my less-than-desired answer, they abruptly hang up on me. How rude!
Instead of calling them back and fussing them out for their rudeness, I'm going to record some of my tips on phone etiquette and hope by some miracle they stumble across this post. You know who you are. Take notes.
First, simply because YOU dialed the wrong number and didn't expect to speak to me does not mean it's ok for you to just hang up! People of decency should apologize and it is super nice if you'd wish the phone answerer a nice day. Only then can you end the call without acting like a jerk muffin.
Before you call, please have in mind exactly what you want to say. Write down a few notes to refer back to if necessary. Because if you're all confused and spouting out "um's" every three or four words, you will be thoughtlessly wasting the time of the person on the other end of the line and probably trying their patience. I generally have a whole dang speech prepared when I call requesting an interview. It goes something like this...
"Hello, my name is Mandy and I'm with the Talk Station in Morehead City, North Carolina. I was calling to see if Congressman Jones would be interested in joining Ben Ball on the morning show Coastal Daybreak to talk about his efforts to increase the North Carolina public beach access with Senators Hagan and Burr. (pause for big breath) Would this possible early next week?"
Normally after the quick spew, I take the next few seconds to really catch my breath as the Congressman's aide responds. It may be a lot of information, but at least I'm prepared and ready to do business, dangit!
Now I must take a couple paragraphs to address teenage phone manners. When you call a home and someone answers, don't just say "Hi" and expect us to know who you are. We are awesome yes, but not psychic, so please introduce yourself. Because when you start asking about the time of the youth event thingy my parents planned, then I'm twice as confused because I don't know what you're talking about in addition to who you are.
Please request to speak with the person you're trying to reach instead of assuming I am my mother. My mom is adorable, so I'm flattered, but still! There are five women in my house and only frequent callers have just recently begun to name us correctly. And sometimes even they have to go down the list of sisters before naming the right one. It's almost like a fun guessing game, but the only clue they get is "Nope, try again!"
So people, PLEASE talk on the phone properly. Ok, rant over. I hope you learned something.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Super Bowl XLV
While I truly love football, I wasn't all that into the Super Bowl this year. I don't know if it's because I'm battling a cold or just because I didn't really care about either of the teams. But it was still a super fun time spent with my family while we ate way too much junk food. If only the preacher hadn't talked so long tonight, we would not have missed the entire first quarter. *cough*Dad*cough*
Even though I didn't care about who would win, I chose Steelers from the beginning. But with about two minutes left of game time, I switched my already-shaky loyalty to Packers just to say that I was rooting for the winning team. And also because their quarterback was cuter. Yay Green Bay!
Commercials
I was hoping to see some awesome commercials, but I was really disappointed. Yeah there were a few cute ones, and a few super raunchy ones, but only two or three that I really loved. My number one favorite commercial was the VW Passat commercial that I talked about in my previous post. My second favorite was this Doritos commercial...
Doritos always comes out with some great ads, so I was glad to see another great one. I seriously LOL'd. Here's my third favorite...
I don't care anything about the Best Buy program, but I loved seeing Ozzie say "What's a Bieber?" and then have Justin in a ridiculous costume make fun of himself. I cannot stand his music, but props to him for taking a good joke.
Half Time Show
I'm not a fan of Black Eyed Peas, but in my opinion they were tons better than last year's The Who. Here are my observations on their halftime show...
1. Voices and Sound were pretty bad. I'm willing to give Fergie and her homies the benefit of the doubt because I could tell their sound peoples weren't doing a good job. And if the sound people weren't doing a good job, their monitors may not have been functioning properly either, thus throwing the singers off key. But off key or not, I still didn't care for the singing. Kudos to them for actually doing a live show instead of lip-syncing.
2. Fergie's outfit made me happy. Not only did she not dress like a loser, but she had on what looked like a football player's set of shoulder pads. And it was sparkley!!! I spent half the show fascinated with her twinkling suit. Am I easily amused? I think so. Everyone else's outfits were lighted too. Apparently their costume designer thoroughly enjoyed the new Tron movie, because the outfits were undoubtedly inspired by it.
3. The stage show was awesome. Usually there's just a simple stage and they let fans on the field to enjoy the concert. But this time, the people on the field were part of the stage show. Their lighted suits and carefully choreographed routine made for a visually appealing performance in addition to the band's weirdly suited stage presence.
Facebook Activity
Every now and then I checked my news feed on Facebook to see what was going on. Lots of my friends were either yay-ing or boo-ing recent plays and making their own (mostly disapproving) comments about the half time show. But then a post caught my attention. Owl City posted, "There's the kickoff. Legolas goes wide! BUT WAIT! Gandalf with the interception! He's running down the field shouting 'YOU SHALL NOT PASS!'" I had a blast reading his following several updates giving us play-by-play commentary of the Lord of the Rings football game going on in his head. As if I didn't love him enough already!
Even though I didn't care about who would win, I chose Steelers from the beginning. But with about two minutes left of game time, I switched my already-shaky loyalty to Packers just to say that I was rooting for the winning team. And also because their quarterback was cuter. Yay Green Bay!
Commercials
I was hoping to see some awesome commercials, but I was really disappointed. Yeah there were a few cute ones, and a few super raunchy ones, but only two or three that I really loved. My number one favorite commercial was the VW Passat commercial that I talked about in my previous post. My second favorite was this Doritos commercial...
Doritos always comes out with some great ads, so I was glad to see another great one. I seriously LOL'd. Here's my third favorite...
I don't care anything about the Best Buy program, but I loved seeing Ozzie say "What's a Bieber?" and then have Justin in a ridiculous costume make fun of himself. I cannot stand his music, but props to him for taking a good joke.
Half Time Show
I'm not a fan of Black Eyed Peas, but in my opinion they were tons better than last year's The Who. Here are my observations on their halftime show...
1. Voices and Sound were pretty bad. I'm willing to give Fergie and her homies the benefit of the doubt because I could tell their sound peoples weren't doing a good job. And if the sound people weren't doing a good job, their monitors may not have been functioning properly either, thus throwing the singers off key. But off key or not, I still didn't care for the singing. Kudos to them for actually doing a live show instead of lip-syncing.
2. Fergie's outfit made me happy. Not only did she not dress like a loser, but she had on what looked like a football player's set of shoulder pads. And it was sparkley!!! I spent half the show fascinated with her twinkling suit. Am I easily amused? I think so. Everyone else's outfits were lighted too. Apparently their costume designer thoroughly enjoyed the new Tron movie, because the outfits were undoubtedly inspired by it.
3. The stage show was awesome. Usually there's just a simple stage and they let fans on the field to enjoy the concert. But this time, the people on the field were part of the stage show. Their lighted suits and carefully choreographed routine made for a visually appealing performance in addition to the band's weirdly suited stage presence.
Facebook Activity
Every now and then I checked my news feed on Facebook to see what was going on. Lots of my friends were either yay-ing or boo-ing recent plays and making their own (mostly disapproving) comments about the half time show. But then a post caught my attention. Owl City posted, "There's the kickoff. Legolas goes wide! BUT WAIT! Gandalf with the interception! He's running down the field shouting 'YOU SHALL NOT PASS!'" I had a blast reading his following several updates giving us play-by-play commentary of the Lord of the Rings football game going on in his head. As if I didn't love him enough already!
Friday, February 4, 2011
Cutest Commercial Ever
Wow, it's been almost two weeks since I posted anything! How can this be?! I'm way too narcisis...
narsicisicis...
narcistishasdjkhalskdjhf...
*sigh*...
fascinated with myself to let this occur on purpose! Anyways...
As an article on Yahoo notes, the web is abuzz over the new VW Passat commercial featuring a mini Darth Vader. And because Istalk follow my favorite actor on Facebook I was one of the first few to see it. So for the first time ever, I was aware of a viral video before it was really viral! Woohoo! Here it is...
Is that not just the most adorable commercial ever? It almost makes me want to go out and buy a Passat, which is a big deal because I'm in love with my Corolla. (41 more payments, baby! Yay!) Not only is the nerdy little kid adorable, but the daddy rocks. If only men like that really existed! Again, most adorable commercial ever.
I could go on and on about other commercials I love, but it's been a long day and I'm sleepy. I'm so sleepy that while checking out at the grocery store tonight I referred to my MVP discount card as an mp3. Yeah. So goodnight, all. I lahve you!
narsicisicis...
narcistishasdjkhalskdjhf...
*sigh*...
fascinated with myself to let this occur on purpose! Anyways...
As an article on Yahoo notes, the web is abuzz over the new VW Passat commercial featuring a mini Darth Vader. And because I
Is that not just the most adorable commercial ever? It almost makes me want to go out and buy a Passat, which is a big deal because I'm in love with my Corolla. (41 more payments, baby! Yay!) Not only is the nerdy little kid adorable, but the daddy rocks. If only men like that really existed! Again, most adorable commercial ever.
I could go on and on about other commercials I love, but it's been a long day and I'm sleepy. I'm so sleepy that while checking out at the grocery store tonight I referred to my MVP discount card as an mp3. Yeah. So goodnight, all. I lahve you!
Saturday, January 22, 2011
The Blizzard of 2011
On this unprecedented third snow day of the winter, we were expected to get just a dusting of snow. It was guaranteed that none of it would stick. Someone should sue our weathermen for lying to the public. Mom woke me up at ten this morning and squealed that it was snowing and it continued to do so until almost six this evening. And I spent my entire day watching it!
I want to show you a bunch of pics that I took without falling on my butt this time. If you click on them, you can see a much bigger picture.
Down the road before my house. Notice you can barely see the road.
Looking down the road running beside my house. I love how the snow is blowing sideways!
Still looking down that same side road, but closer to the end. Lookit all the snow falling!!
I love this picture looking from the intersection shown in the last shot because you can see just how big most of the flakes were.
Looking back down the side road. See my footprints in the tire tracks? Halfway down the street I realized it would be easier if I walked in snow-packed tracks instead of trudging through the 4-inch layer of snow.
On the back porch, you can see how much snow was built up on the table by mid-afternoon. Plus a pretty little Cardinal. They were all over the place!
Our little bird feeder next to the back windows was apparently the hangout of the yard...
Our cats quickly noticed that too. Zaboo and Patches rarely ever get as close to each other as they were here. There's nothing like a flock of birdies in the snow to bring kitty sisters together.
I am so loving all this snow!!! This needs to happen every winter. And our weathermen should be wrong more often.
I want to show you a bunch of pics that I took without falling on my butt this time. If you click on them, you can see a much bigger picture.
Down the road before my house. Notice you can barely see the road.
Looking down the road running beside my house. I love how the snow is blowing sideways!
Still looking down that same side road, but closer to the end. Lookit all the snow falling!!
I love this picture looking from the intersection shown in the last shot because you can see just how big most of the flakes were.
Looking back down the side road. See my footprints in the tire tracks? Halfway down the street I realized it would be easier if I walked in snow-packed tracks instead of trudging through the 4-inch layer of snow.
On the back porch, you can see how much snow was built up on the table by mid-afternoon. Plus a pretty little Cardinal. They were all over the place!
Our little bird feeder next to the back windows was apparently the hangout of the yard...
Our cats quickly noticed that too. Zaboo and Patches rarely ever get as close to each other as they were here. There's nothing like a flock of birdies in the snow to bring kitty sisters together.
I am so loving all this snow!!! This needs to happen every winter. And our weathermen should be wrong more often.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Old Lady Awesomeness
Old age is so going to rock. Tons of people worry about their retirement and consider expensive cosmetic surgery, but I think I've devised a great plan of what I'm going to do when I get ancient and wrinkly.
I will live in a swanky 2 bedroom condo with Sam at an assisted living place. She'll have her purse doggie and I'll have my orange kitty. The kitty will be a purse kitty and enjoy it whether it likes it or not. I'll even have a basket on my walker and carry it around the building with me at all times. My kitty will be like an organic heater, so I'll never have to worry about having a cold lap.
Sam and I will host parties with the other old people when new episodes of our favorite shows come on. Chuck will be in its 53rd season and I will still be watching it faithfully and admiring Zachary Levi. We will provide the forbidden snacks and the entry fee for the visitors would be a case of Mountain Dew.
Everyone I've known throughout my life will remember how awesome I was to them, so they'll be willing to do whatever I needed free of charge. Like if my flying car isn't working properly, the annoying church brat turned adult mechanic will gladly fix my car because I always brought him cookies. The only downside to this part of my plan is that I have to start being super nice to teenagers right now.
I will bribe the facility's staff will my old lady cuteness, cookies, and the occasional Benjamin (a chunk of change now, but I'm factoring inflation) to bring me Chick-fil-a and pizza whenever I wanted. I can only take healthy old people food for so long, ya know? Those young sweet staff kids will be wrapped around my chicken-grease-covered arthritic finger.
I will take full advantage of the fact that white old lady hair tends to turn purpley. Just because I would be old doesn't mean I have to get the short curly 'do and constantly try to dye it my original brown. I'll have long, naturally purplish hair and all the hip kids will be jealous.
Instead of traditional Bingo, I'll start up an Apples to Apples club. But we'll probably be shut down before our third meeting because some people laughed too hard and broke something. And then I'll take the club underground and enjoy our gigglez away from the condemning eyes of the administrators. I'll make a rule that no one talks about Apples to Apples club. That should keep it safe.
Yeah. I can't wait to get old.
I will live in a swanky 2 bedroom condo with Sam at an assisted living place. She'll have her purse doggie and I'll have my orange kitty. The kitty will be a purse kitty and enjoy it whether it likes it or not. I'll even have a basket on my walker and carry it around the building with me at all times. My kitty will be like an organic heater, so I'll never have to worry about having a cold lap.
Sam and I will host parties with the other old people when new episodes of our favorite shows come on. Chuck will be in its 53rd season and I will still be watching it faithfully and admiring Zachary Levi. We will provide the forbidden snacks and the entry fee for the visitors would be a case of Mountain Dew.
Everyone I've known throughout my life will remember how awesome I was to them, so they'll be willing to do whatever I needed free of charge. Like if my flying car isn't working properly, the annoying church brat turned adult mechanic will gladly fix my car because I always brought him cookies. The only downside to this part of my plan is that I have to start being super nice to teenagers right now.
I will bribe the facility's staff will my old lady cuteness, cookies, and the occasional Benjamin (a chunk of change now, but I'm factoring inflation) to bring me Chick-fil-a and pizza whenever I wanted. I can only take healthy old people food for so long, ya know? Those young sweet staff kids will be wrapped around my chicken-grease-covered arthritic finger.
I will take full advantage of the fact that white old lady hair tends to turn purpley. Just because I would be old doesn't mean I have to get the short curly 'do and constantly try to dye it my original brown. I'll have long, naturally purplish hair and all the hip kids will be jealous.
Instead of traditional Bingo, I'll start up an Apples to Apples club. But we'll probably be shut down before our third meeting because some people laughed too hard and broke something. And then I'll take the club underground and enjoy our gigglez away from the condemning eyes of the administrators. I'll make a rule that no one talks about Apples to Apples club. That should keep it safe.
Yeah. I can't wait to get old.
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